The 'sad beige world’ is your fault

Ever heard the term “sad beige children?” It’s used to describe those kiddos whose mothers dress them only in neutral tones, usually in expensive natural fibers. They’re all gentle parented, their toys are made of non-toxic bamboo, and they’ve certainly never set foot inside a McDonalds. Although, if they did, they’d fit right in. All the McDonalds are beige now too. The bright colors and cheeseburger-shaped chairs were stolen by the Hamburglar sometime in the early 2000s and replaced with an ambience de coffee shop, sucking the whimsy out of Ronald McDonald and like some kind of sad cartoon. A lot of people like to blame Millennials for this tragedy due to the closely related color phenomenon called “millennial gray.” This term refers to a sterile, gray, white and black color scheme for newly built homes. Lots of sleek, polished surfaces and sharp corners. Very cold. But I’m here to tell you this is NOT the millennials fault either. We can’t afford to buy homes, much less new ones. Bah-dum-tss.